There is so much more to eating than just the food. From learning food is safe and enjoyable to how to behave and converse at the table, we share so much knowledge with our children just by sitting with them.

There are some unexpected benefits too, from enhanced school performance to increased self-esteem and lower use of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.

So, let’s explore further the importance of eating together as a family, why it’s worth the effort and some tips to help you work this into your busy daily routines.

It’s safe to eat

Children can find new foods scary and need to learn what’s safe to eat. They do this, in part, by exploring foods in a variety of ways both away from and at the table, but they also need to see you eating a wide range of foods. They might even eat from your plate instead of their own – if you’re eating it, it must be ok!

By eating together, you’re less likely to only serve your children the meals you know they like and will eat and instead expand your offerings. Exposing children to different foods on a regular basis supports them to feel comfortable around them and start to explore then eat more.

Role modelling

Children learn so much from you, from their other carers, from their siblings and their peers, including good table manners, the need to share food fairly, how to join in the social aspects of mealtimes, what a balanced meal looks like, the joy that food can bring you, that vegetables are delicious!

That’s why it’s important, even if you’re not having dinner at the same time as them, to at least sit with them and maybe have a small amount of what they’re having as a snack and to model the right behaviour.

Mealtimes are special

I like to encourage my clients to rename family mealtime as simply family time. This way, they can reframe it as an opportunity to come together, catch up on what’s going on in each other’s worlds, have a chat and a laugh. There just happens to be food to share too.

By taking some of the focus away from the food, you can also take time to make the dinner table a place you all want to be, where your children want to stay for longer and feel encouraged to explore more foods as well as eat slower and more mindfully than they would if sitting alone.

And if you set the scene for family time around the table when your children are young, this routine will stay as they get older and are spending more time away from you. As they grow, they will know that certain meals together are non-negotiable.

Unexpected benefits

In a week where you’re ships passing in the night, this might be the only time you can come together. Enjoying quality family time at the table, allows you to build closer bonds, ditch the tech for a short time, pick up on any issues or concerns your children might have, build their self-esteem and support their language and social skills.

Studies have shown that children who eat with their family on a regular basis, tend to eat more fruits and vegetables, communicate better, have healthier relationships with food in adulthood, smoke and drink less, are less likely to use drugs, have fewer behavioural problems and perform better at school and in tests.

Making the most of mealtimes

With busy routines and everything you need to squeeze into a day, finding time to sit together to eat can feel like an impossibility. Here’s how you can make the most of mealtimes:

• Don’t feel that you have to eat every meal together every day. Do it when you can, even if that’s just one day a week or at the weekends. Start with what’s achievable and build from there.
• There are benefits to just one carer eating with a child – one of you eating with your child is better than neither of you sharing a meal with them.
• Family time around the table doesn’t have to be at dinner time. Think about what works for you and your family. Perhaps breakfast is when you have the most time to talk and connect.
• Think about the environment in which you’re eating. Is it clear it’s mealtime? Have you cleared the table? Is the room and table inviting? Is the TV turned off?
• Create a mealtime routine by letting your children know that the meal is x minutes away and supporting them to switch activities. Ask them to stop, to go to the toilet and wash hands, to help set the table or even come and eat some veg sticks you put on the table whilst you finish off the meal.
• Come to the table calm and relaxed. If you’re calm and relaxed, then so will your children be and this puts them in the right mindset for eating.
• Share the same meal – cooking one meal for everyone will take the pressure off you in the kitchen, mean that you feel nourished because you’re eating the food you enjoy and support your child to learn to like more foods. Adding accepted foods to whatever you put on the table will ensure there’s something your child can eat as well as help them to explore other foods.
• Allow children time to eat (they do eat slower), bringing the meal to a close for everyone at the same time.
• Use this time together to get the family involved in planning more meals – children feel they have some control by making suggestions, it shares the responsibility, teaches children what goes into putting dinner on the table and children know that challenging meals are coming meaning they can cope better when they arrive.
• Remember these magic words “you don’t have to eat it” as they will take the pressure off your child to eat as well as support them to explore foods in their own way and in their own time. You might be surprised by just how much more they may be willing to try.